Review: Motel California – The Fangirl Verdict

THE SHORT VERDICT:

This show isn’t for everyone – is, I think, the most accurate and important thing I could say about this drama. 😅

Characters and relationships tend to develop in ways that can lean messy &/or perplexing, and that is kind of reflective of real life, in a manner of speaking.

How well you take to that, will largely determine whether or not this show is for you, I think.

Additionally, Show works out to be a slow burn, but there’s ultimately a reward of warmth and contentment, for the patient.

THE LONG VERDICT:

During my watch of this show, my brain kept casting about for an appropriate drama comparison; ie, which other drama does this remind me of?

Eventually, my conclusion is that this story kinda-sorta reminds me of an unvarnished cousin of Our Beloved Summer (review here!), but with a drama personality that leans more towards that of The Third Charm (review here!).

Basically, yes, it’s about childhood sweethearts coming back to each other (which reminds me of Our Beloved Summer), but the journey is sometimes messy and ugly (which reminds me of The Third Charm).

I did find it worthwhile in the end, but like I alluded to earlier, your mileage may well vary.

OST ALBUM: FOR YOUR LISTENING PLEASURE

Here’s the OST album, in case you’d like to listen to it while reading the review.

Overall, I found the music very effective in setting the tone for our story world. In fact, I found our story world quite moody and atmospheric, and I feel like the music contributed a lot, to creating that vibe.

In terms of a favorite track, Track 2, Here I Am, stands out as being quite memorable, with its breathy, surrealistic quality, particularly during the chorus.

Here it is on its own as well, in case you’d prefer to listen to it on repeat. Just right-click on the video and select “Loop.”

HOW I’M APPROACHING THIS REVIEW

First I’ll talk about how to manage your expectations going into this one, and what viewing lens would be most helpful.

After that, I talk about stuff I liked on a more macro level, before I give the spotlight to selected characters and relationships, in a separate section. Finally, I spend some time talking about my thoughts on the penultimate and finale episodes.

If you’re interested in my blow-by-blow reactions, &/or all the various Patreon members’ comments during the course of our watch, you might like to check out my episode notes on Patreon here.

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS / THE VIEWING LENS

Here are some things that I think would be helpful to keep in mind, to maximize your enjoyment of your watch:

1. This is not a rom-com

In fact, I wouldn’t even classify this a being primarily romance, despite Show’s promos, which basically center around Lee Se Young’s and Na In Woo’s characters, who make up our would-be OTP.

I personally find it a lot more helpful to think of this as a healing drama, even though Show does invest a fair amount of time in the central romance.

2. Allow for messiness

What I mean is, while dramas do often tend to present characters, relationships and situations in a reasonably organized fashion, where characterization, relationship development and everything else makes a kind of progressive sense, this drama doesn’t really adhere to that.

I get the sense that Show is working to mimic real life, in a manner of speaking, and therefore, sometimes, we get inconsistent character behavior, and stuck relationships, and new pieces of information at unexpected times.

This can feel perplexing in the framework of dramas in general, but I found that thinking of everything as being a type of reflection of real life, helped. Coz real life can be messy sometimes, and things don’t go as we expect, sometimes.

3. Be patient

In the light of what I just said, I do find that it helps to be patient.

Sometimes, it takes a while for a character to make sense to us, and I found that it was helpful to exercise patience.

4. The lens of compassion and empathy

In particular, I feel I should mention our female lead, Kang Hee (Lee Se Young), because I think that reactions to this show will vary, depending on how you respond to her as a character.

I’ve seen some people describe her as strong and independent, and I’ve also seen people say that she’s just a b*tch, and that if this had been a male lead acting this way, everyone would be saying that he’s a red flag.

My personal take, is that Kang Hee is much more complex than that, and being patient to understand her character – and being ready to exercise compassion and empathy too – would be most helpful.

STUFF I LIKED

When Show makes me think

I think this is quite possibly the thing that I enjoyed most, about my watch.

Like I mentioned earlier, the character and relationship progression in our story can feel messy and perplexing at times, and while I wouldn’t say that I took to that super well, I did like that this forced me to think.

Like, why would this character behave like this? Or, why would this relationship be in this state; what’s happened that’s led to this?

Trying to make sense of it all, felt like piecing together a very challenging, very dynamic sort of puzzle, and, well, I weirdly enjoyed it.

Every time I felt like I’d figured out something (whether or not this was proved wrong later is a whole other matter 😅), I’d feel a stab of satisfaction.

When Show is heartwarming

I wouldn’t say that “heartwarming” is the first adjective to come to mind, in terms of describing the watch experience, but from time to time, Show does serve up moments of warmth that I really appreciated.

And importantly, “heartwarming” is the word I’d used to describe our finale, and I do think that that counts for a lot. 🥰

Random highlights that I enjoyed

I didn’t know where else to park this, so I’m creating a little section here for the little moments where I enjoyed an unexpected pop of fun, during my watch.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E3-4. Seok Gyeong’s (Kim Tae Hyeong) chosen term of address for Kang Hee, “Im Ja,” is a play on the phrase “person who takes responsibility” but also sounds like a traditional term of affection, like you would hear in a sageuk.

I thought that was a fun touch, and also, relevant to clarify, since Seok Gyeong calling Kang Hee “Im Ja” all the time, does add to the impression that they’re in a dating sort of relationship.

E3-4. I’m tickled at how the small town-ness of it all, means that the restaurant owner calls Seung Eon and Han Woo (Koo Ja Sung and Jung Yong Ju) over to take care of Kang Hee, without missing a beat.

I’m even more tickled at how the police officer with whom Seok Gyeong tries to launch a report, locates Kang Hee with just a group chat exchange, and a quick phone call.

It amuses me quite a bit, how this must boggle Seok Gyeong’s mind. 🤭

[END SPOILER]

STUFF THAT WAS OK

How Show is a slow burn

The thing about Show being a slow burn, is that we might get a fair bit of information about the past, and have things happen in the present, but overall, it often feels like we haven’t really made any true progress where it matters most – Kang Hee’s journey of healing.

If you’re not up for the slow burn approach, I can see how this might have some viewers ready to throw some angry words – or throw in the towel, with this show.

However, I did find the slow burn approach rather interesting, even though there were also times when I chafed at the not-knowing of it all, and wondered what Show was doing, and where it was going.

[VAGUE SPOILER]

It’s only at about the halfway point of our story, that we actually begin to understand the true nature and nuances of Kang Hee’s emotional wounds, and this new understanding definitely puts a new twist on everything that we’ve learned up to this point.

I thought that was interesting.

[END SPOILER]

STUFF I DIDN’T LIKE SO MUCH

Some of Show’s attempts at Funny

I didn’t uniformly dislike Show’s attempts at humor, but there were a couple of occasions when the Intended Funny that Show served up, made me cringe instead.

Here they are, for the record.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E3-4. I was rather secondhand mortified at how passed-out drunk Kang Hee is shown to toss and turn so much on Yeon Su’s lap, and even reaching close to his crotch, making it hard for him to, er, stay calm 😅, but I think that’s just Show’s way of being funny. 😅

E7-8. I didn’t find it amusing while Yeon Su was drunk-talking about how much he prays for Kang Hee’s happiness, and then I found it even less amusing, when the boys wake up in bed together, and Seok Gyeong screams in horror.

This just felt.. very awkward and perplexing. 😅

[END SPOILER]

When Show’s tone runs uneven

From the beginning of my watch, I’d pegged Show as being more moody and poignant than anything else, and I did not think that Show’s attempts to introduce lighter tones, worked that well.

I can understand writer-nim’s desire to balance out our drama world, tonally speaking, so that everything doesn’t end up feeling overly heavy, but the manner in which it was done, didn’t work for me.

I felt that Show leaned too hard into rom-com type vibes, when it’s far from actually bring a rom-com, and that left me feeling quite perplexed.

I felt it most in episode 7, so here’s a quick rundown of my thoughts on how episode 7 was handled.

[SPOILER ALERT]

I have to confess that I didn’t love the treatment of episode 7.

Mainly, I think that I’m fine with the actual plot details of episode 7, but just don’t love the execution of it? And also, I feel like the lack of context doesn’t quite help?

It felt like Show was leaning hard into a rom-com kind of vibe in episode 7, and that felt out of character, to my eyes.

I realize that I’m fine with all the push-pull between Yeon Su and Kang Hee that we see; it’s just the rom-com vibe that doesn’t sit well with me.

I feel like this story suits a more restrained sort of treatment, at least in terms of exploring the feelings of our leads, and I do think that we’ve largely been getting, for the most part.

And so, it felt quite strange to me, that we were suddenly in rom-com-esque territory in episode 7, with the hijinks around Chun Pil (Choi Min Soo) blithely knocking on Kang Hee’s door with drinks and snacks, to welcome her home, right when she’s making out with Yeon Su – and so we suddenly have Yeon Su hiding in Kang Hee’s balcony, while she deals with Chun Pil and Seok Gyeong..

It’s all played for a bit of OTT comedy, and I just.. wasn’t feeling it, honestly. 😅

On second viewing, Chun Pil coming to the room and making a big deal of knocking on Kang Hee’s door and using that big booming voice to welcome her, and then remarking that there must have been something going on inside her room, all lands differently.

Based on what we find out in episode 8, on hindsight, it now very much looks like this had been Chun Pil’s way of managing things between Kang Hee and Yeon Su, without resorting to histrionics like Su Ji.

That context definitely helps it to land differently, but that doesn’t change the fact that, on first viewing, we don’t have that context, and it therefore lands as an attempt at straight-up comedy, which, like I said, just doesn’t fit my view of this story world.

Additionally, like I mentioned, the lack of context doesn’t help, because episode 7 is basically one long push-pull sequence between Kang Hee and Yeon Su, and without the context that episode 8 provides, it all lands as quite.. superfluous?

I also didn’t love the treatment of the whole thing around being friends.

It felt quite forced, with Kang Hee asking pointed questions about whether or not it was ok for friends to do certain things.

I didn’t love that, even though I get the goal in mind, where Kang Hee ends the episode by asking Yeon Su if it’s ok for friends to kiss.

Speaking of which, I’m sorry, but I also wasn’t really feeling the whole push-pull of Yeon Su in Kang Hee’s apartment.

I’m not sure why; I just wasn’t feeling the intended emotional angst, deep wistfulness, or the intended sexual tension, with this arc.

Maybe it’s because I feel like the execution of the scene leans kind of nonchalant? Or maybe I just didn’t like the way Yeon Su says and does things that echo how Kang Hee had once asked him to sleep with her? I’m not sure.

[END SPOILER]

Late-stage introduction of new information

I should clarify that there are two components to this.

The first is, Show works up to a Big Reveal, at about the three-quarter mark of our story, and I was fine with this, because it felt like we’d been searching for answers for a long time, and it felt gratifying, actually, to get some answers.

The second, though, is that beyond this Big Reveal, Show introduces MORE NEW INFORMATION, at the penultimate juncture of our story, and some of it is pretty big stuff, and this just felt like a very strange narrative decision.

I talk more about this in my discussion of the penultimate episodes later in this review, but suffice to say that I was very concerned that we had so little time left, to digest and work through the new information that Show had introduced.

To Show’s credit, everything ends on a solidly satisfying note (though not without some convenient glossing over here and there), so this didn’t break my watch.

I just didn’t really like this storytelling approach, and would have preferred if all the key information had been given to use earlier, to give us more time to work through it all.

I will talk more about the second wave of new information in my spotlight on the penultimate episodes, but for now, here’s a quick dive into the first wave of new information that Show gives us, in its late stretch.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E8. A heckuva lot becomes clearer in this episode, and that is a good thing.

It might be diabolical of me to say, but I actually felt like all the angst in episode 8, which bring about the various context bombs that we get, might be the best part of these episodes, for me.

Yep. I preferred all the yelling and tears, because it felt like we were finally getting some important information to ground all the emotional baggage that we’ve been watching these characters carry around for the past half of this show.

It’s a doozy, what with Yeon Su’s father having an affair with Kang Hee’s mother, and the two of them running off together – only to get into an accident, and end up dead. 😳

No wonder Su Ji’s so against Yeon Su being close to Kang Hee; to her, Kang Hee will always be the daughter of the woman who’d stolen her husband.

With that context in place, the kind of gossip and disdain that Kang Hee must have endured in her growing up years, really clicks into focus.

It’s no longer about her being mixed race, although people had treated her differently because of that too.

This is a much more vicious rumor, that Kang Hee’s the daughter of an adulterer, and would be likely follow in her mother’s footsteps in stealing men.

It’s 100% unfair, but I can see why a small town would get up in arms over something like this.

And this is also most likely why they all file that complaint against the motel renovation project, these episodes, which causes Kang Hee’s work to grind to a halt.

I can see why Su Ji would get all hysterical over Kang Hee being around Yeon Su.

[END SPOILER]

SPOTLIGHT ON SELECTED CHARACTERS & RELATIONSHIPS

Lee Se Young as Kang Hee

I thought Lee Se Young did an excellent job of the role of Kang Hee.

Putting aside the question of whether Kang Hee is a likable character, and whether her actions made sense, I thought that Lee Se Young did a fantastic job grounding all of it, via Kang Hee’s emotions, which felt raw and real, in Lee Se Young’s hands.

I think that contributed a great deal to my ability to appreciate Kang Hee as a character, and my desire to follow her on her journey, so kudos to Lee Se Young for a job well done. 🤩

[KEY SPOILERS, BROADLY SPEAKING]

I find Kang Hee a little difficult to discuss as a character, because she eventually proves to be an unreliable narrator.

It only really became clearer to me much later in my watch, but everything that we’re told about Kang Hee’s experiences in our earlier episodes, is from her perspective.

And we eventually find that that perspective is heavily skewed by her own emotions, her limited understanding as a participant of the events in question, as well as the fact that she suffers from amnesia – a fact that we only learn, as we near our story’s finish line.

You could say that we experience Kang Hee in a more naturalistic sort of manner, versus the more “omniscient viewer” perspective that we might be more used to, and this definitely took some adjustments, on my part.

This also means that a lot of my earlier thoughts on Kang Hee as a character, are not super accurate.

However, I thought I’d share these thoughts anyway, as a point of interest, for how I approached and digested Kang Hee as a character, during my watch.

Importantly, I would also say that “perception is reality” is a good lens through which to process this; some of these things might not have been as objectively pronounced or as objectively true as Kang Hee had believed, but this perception was, indeed, her reality, and the wounds that she carries as a result, are real too.

[SPECIFIC SPOILERS]

E1-2. My desire to understand Kang Hee is driving my watch more than the idea of the main loveline, to be honest.

In terms of the central idea that I’m taking away, about Kang Hee, it’s that she’s a person who carries a lot of emotional wounds, and also, I get the sense that she struggles to love herself.

In fact, at points, I even found myself thinking that she might even carry a measure of self-hatred, that I think is coloring some of the things we see her do.

I don’t know how to explain it; I feel like she hates being in this situation, but that part of her hates herself for being this way, such that she would even be in such a situation, if that makes sense?

And also, I feel like part of her hates that she would even want the acceptance and acknowledgement of people whom she doesn’t even really care about?

Importantly, I do think that she’s trying to love herself, and I’m rooting for her on that front.

As for what I’ve seen people say, that she’s a b*tch and that if a male character were to do similar things, people would flag that as problematic behavior, instead of saying that the character’s being strong.

To that, I would say that I don’t see it as being as simple as that, because it’s true that Kang Hee lives in a very patriarchal world, where women have to fight that much harder, to prove themselves.

And so, when you flip it around, a male character wouldn’t need to do these same things, because they aren’t disadvantaged the same way.

Even if a male character is bullied, they wouldn’t be bullied the same way, or harassed the same way – like how that male supervisor at the convenience store insinuates that she’s prostituting herself and should go to a motel room with him.

And so, in that way, I understand why Kang Hee’s created this armor for herself.

Speaking of the armor, I wanted to say that I do like that the armor is fierce smoky-eyed makeup; I find that very relatable and believable, because it’s true that a certain type of makeup can make you feel a certain way.

And I would buy that fierce makeup would make Kang Hee feel more fierce and therefore more empowered to act a certain way.

I find it poignant that we see that Kang Hee needs the armor in the first place; this means that she doesn’t see herself in this space naturally – she needs the armor to bolster her, to act in the way she wants to.

This is very relatable, certainly, but I just wanted to point out that there’s a disconnect between the kind of person Kang Hee feels like she is on the inside, and the kind of person she wants to present herself as, to the world.

I really do appreciate the representation of the armor in the way of makeup, because I found the scene at the end of episode 1 extra powerful, because of it.

In the natural, we see Kang Hee walking towards the funeral hall, she looks drawn and pale; she is, after all, returning to a place and a people that she’d sworn never to return to, and her showing up, is making her the center of attention and gossip.

At the same time, we see that in her mind’s eye, she’s completely decked out in armor, from fierce makeup to fierce outfit, and that’s the thing that’s giving her the strength and drive to press in, in this moment.

That tells me that Kang Hee is capable of being strong, yes, but it also tells me that at the heart of it, she does feel weak and vulnerable – and that’s why she needs the armor in the first place, if that makes sense?

Taking all that into account, I do want to give props to Kang Hee, for pushing herself into an uncomfortable situation, even though she needed armor reinforcement to do it; it makes me think she will do the uncomfortable thing if it’s what she values, even if she does not like it.

Speaking of which, I did come away very impressed with the way Kang Hee opts not to be re-hired by Moments (“the luxury to not work with people I don’t like” – HA! Loved that!), and the way she opted not to accept the hefty designer fee that Geum Seok Gyeong was offering – because he and Esther had given her something much more precious: her self-esteem as a designer.

This, even though she could really use the money, being unemployed and living in a tiny gosiwon room where there currently isn’t any heating or hot water, forcing her to huddle under her blanket for warmth.

She’s a woman of principle, who dares to walk the talk, and I can’t help but admire that, y’know?

And I’m glad that her standing by this principle eventually pays off, when Director Hwang (Woo Mi Hwa) decides to quit Moments too, to go independent – and basically offers Kang Hee a job.

YAY for a new, cool opportunity, away from that awful dude in Moments!

Having said all that, I suppose I should talk a bit about where we start our story, with Kang Hee choosing to leave for Seoul, at age 20, and declaring that she would never come back.

The way Show sets it up, we can see that Kang Hee is of mixed race, and therefore has some exotic touches to her appearance, like curly hair, freckles and light greenish eyes.

I’ve seen some folks dismiss this as inconsequential (it’s “just” freckles and light eyes) or improbable (green eyes are very unlikely because brown eyes are much more dominant), and I have to say, I don’t agree with either stance.

The thing with Korea (and Japan too) is that it’s a very homogenous country, and someone’s “other-ness” is not appreciated as beautiful or exotic, particularly in a small town, like the one where Kang Hee grows up.

That’s why she’s the subject of so much derision, bullying and gossip, while she’s growing up there.

As for the green eyes, despite brown eyes being more dominant, I don’t even know why people are saying that; just because it’s not likely doesn’t mean it’s not possible. And as long as it’s possible, I’m fine with it.

And I would believe that this difference in how she looks, had made everyone in that small town shun her, and talk about her, and basically make her feel unaccepted and different from everyone else.

That’s not something a kid (or even an adult, for that matter) wants to feel, in their own hometown.

And there’s also the thing that Kang Hee states, that she’d been an unwanted child.

She has her father (whom I was quite stunned to realize is none other than Choi Min Soo, who’d played the scene-stealing Chun / Sky Lord in Warrior Baek Dong Soo – review here!), who seems pleasant enough, but who clearly would prefer not to be a father, and doesn’t really want to pursue a deeper relationship with her.

Through these episodes, we see that he does do some things for Kang Hee, but would rather limit his relationship with her, to that one meeting at Christmas, for their birthday celebration, and some chit chat about movies and such, and nothing more.

He paints it as something romantic and cool, but at the heart of it, the thing that speaks to me loudest, is the fact that he doesn’t want to see Kang Hee more than that one time per year. 💔

We also do hear Kang Hee talk about how he hadn’t wanted to be a father, and that, to my ears, does translate into a deep-seated sense of rejection, that goes back to the very core of her existence.

Her father hadn’t wanted her to exist. 

That’s a very heavy thought to shape your life, and this is a key thought that’s shaped Kang Hee, and I do feel like this contributes a lot to her struggle to love herself; because, if your own father hadn’t wanted you to exist and doesn’t seem to really want to be around you, and has been that way from the time you were born, that does something to you at a fundamental level, doesn’t it? 💔

I do think that this lack of father-daughter relationship is why Kang Hee addresses him by name – Chun Pil-sshi – instead of Dad.

E3-4. Since we’ve seen that Kang Hee’s been shunned and bullied and gossiped about, all through her growing up years, because of nothing that she’s done, but because of the fact that she’s of mixed heritage, I find it easy to believe that she would feel a sense of grievance about that, even if she tries to shrug it off and act like she doesn’t care.

Despite the nonchalance that she shows the world, I feel like there’s an undercurrent of defiance, anger, and yes, grievance, about it.

Because, what did she do so wrong, to be made the subject of gossip and bullying? It’s completely out of her control, and yet, this type of social mistreatment has been such a defining part of her growing up years.

I would find it hard to believe that anyone could go through that, and not have a sense of grievance about it, honestly.

E3-4. My thoughts are homing in on the scene at the end of episode 3 and the beginning of episode 4, where Kang Hee’s car has that near collision with Yeon Su’s truck, while hoobae Nan Woo (Choi Hee Jin) is at the wheel.

I found Kang Hee’s expression quite interesting, because the way I see it, her expression is kind of a sneer or a smirk?

Watching the scene a second time, and with the context that we get at the top of episode 4, that Kang Hee had, in fact, felt rather flustered at running into Yeon Su, and had pursed her lips uncomfortably at the sight of him helping Nan Woo out of the truck, and had looked like she’d wanted to hide further under her head scarf, it all lands quite differently.

This time, I realize that there’s a touch of defiance in the way Kang Hee juts out her chin, and it dawns on me that the sneer-smirk is just a form of armor that she’s putting on, to communicate that she doesn’t care that Yeon Su’s literally princess-carrying another girl in front of her.

E5-6. What I appreciate about how Show is going about Kang Hee’s characterization, is how believable and true to life it feels.

At least, I feel like I can believe that someone could be as contrarian as Kang Hee, saying one thing but then saying something else entirely, not too much later, because wounds and trauma and the effect these have have on a person’s psyche, is complicated, to say the least.

That’s the main takeaway that I have, from these episodes: it’s way more complicated than I’d originally imagined, and Kang Hee, being only human, is still dealing with some very raw, very real wounds.

In the time that she’s spent in Seoul, trying to build a new life for herself, she hasn’t actually managed to heal from those wounds; she’s simply found a way to put a bandaid over those wounds, and temporarily shelve them away, so that she can forget about them for a while, as she goes about her life.

Going back to her hometown, which is arguably Ground Zero, coz that’s where all the hurts were sustained, only brings the wounds back to the surface, in all their raw, pulsating, festering true states, and it’s ugly, and painful, and complicated.

One of the things that strikes me about Kang Hee, these episodes, is how she’s definitely dealing with some imposter syndrome.

She’s done her best to show the people from her past, that she’s moved on and made a new, happy and successful life for herself, but because she doesn’t truly see herself that way, she feels like an imposter.

I do think that that drives a good amount of her behavior, from hiding from Yeon Su at the ice cream shop, to feeling inferior to her friends at the welcome party, to refusing her friends’ help.

She’s adamant about not allowing any of her friends to help, because she wants to do it all on her own – and thus prove to them, and to herself, that she is the real deal; she’s not an imposter who needs help to prop up her facade.

At the same time, I do think that she is cognizant of the fact that she’s been unfair and cold to Yeon Su, and that’s also a reason why she’s insistent that he doesn’t do anything to help her.

I think she feels bad enough as it is, and doesn’t want to owe Yeon Su any more than she already does.

Of course, one of the big complaints that I’m seeing about Kang Hee, is the fact that she’s told Yeon Su that their first love is over, but is still getting upset with him, when she thinks that he’s in a relationship with Nan Woo.

While I can definitely understand someone’s frustration with Kang Hee’s apparent flip-flopping here, I can also understand what’s going on with Kang Hee.

This is one of those times when the mind and the heart don’t agree, isn’t it?

Kang Hee’s reasoned it out to herself why she and Yeon Su can never be; that memory of all the people in his life who have disdained her and scorned her in the past, is evidence of that.

But just because she’s decided that this is the most reasonable way forward, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t have feelings for Yeon Su any longer, and so, when she gets jealous at the sight of Yeon Su in the ice cream shop with Nan Woo, that’s her heart acting out.

Yes, it’s a bunch of mixed signals to Yeon Su, and that’s not fair to him, but I can see why Kang Hee could or would act like this.

And, going back to something that I’d said in my notes for episodes 1 and 2, I do get the feeling that Kang Hee doesn’t like this about herself, which adds to what I’d said before, that it feels to me that Kang Hee struggles to love herself.

Which some people might find ironic to hear, since, from certain perspectives, it does look like Kang Hee’s behavior leans selfish, but I do think that she can act selfishly, while struggling to love herself; the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, in my opinion.

Importantly, it does seem to me that Kang Hee has genuine attachment to her friends in Hana-eup.

During the welcome party, when she reminisces and starts thinking of her friends as their childhood selves, there’s a distinct softness that comes to her face, that I found very appealing.

When all the context gets stripped away, she does have fond memories of them, and she does care about them. 🥲

And, I also like that through it all, we do still see glimpses of the kind and helpful person that Kang Hee is, on the inside.

Like the way she steps up to help Nan Woo when Nan Woo has to tend to a sudden emergency and is freaking out on her own.

Kang Hee doesn’t have to get involved, but she offers her help anyway, and even encourages Nan Woo, and calms her down, so that Nan Woo’s able to perform the life-saving procedure on the cow.

E5-6. These episodes, we get a deeper perspective on how the townsfolk might have hurt Kang Hee in the past, and that flashback to that drunk ahjusshi who’d said all those nasty things to her, when she’d been a little kid, is just horrendous.

What a destructive thing to do, and to a little kid! 😱😠

That would have only added to the emotional wounds that Kang Hee’s had to bear, over the years, and what makes it even worse, is that Ahjusshi still holds a grudge in the present, for the way Kang Hee had retaliated by locking him in the warehouse.

Huh. Just goes to show how self-righteous these people can be, in their skewed values and perspectives.

It’s so toxic all on its own, that I feel like I can understand Kang Hee’s desire to leave, just taking this one thing into account.

[END SPOILER]

Na In Woo as Yeon Su

To be brutally honest with you guys, I have consistently felt that Na In Woo tends to be pretty bland onscreen.

At least, that’s the impression that I’ve taken away, from the various times I’ve seen him, like in Marry My Husband (review here!), and the bits of River Where The Moon Rises (Dropped post here!) that I sampled, after he took over the male lead role from Ji Soo.

While I don’t feel that his onscreen presence has changed much in this show, I do feel that he’s well-cast as Yeon Su, because, even though Yeon Su is our male lead, I feel that Yeon Su’s mostly in our story as Kang Hee’s foil and anchor.

Yes, he does have some narrative significance on his own, but his main role is really in relation to Kang Hee, and I found him nicely effective in this space, because Yeon Su’s basically sweet, steadfast and unwavering, when it comes to Kang Hee, and I find that Na In Woo plays that very well.

In fact, I found Yeon Su to be such a wholesome, devoted sort of character, that I didn’t even mind too much, that they put Na In Woo in that ridiculous fat suit for a chunk of our initial episodes.

As for why a fat suit was even necessary in the first place, I like what Trent said in our discussions on Patreon, that it helps to underline what a stolid character Yeon Su is.

Additionally, I think it does land as quite meaningful, that Kang Hee had liked Yeon Su even before he’d lost weight.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E1-2. It’s a very melty idea, that Yeon Su’s never stopped loving Kang Hee, all these years, and that he takes regular weekend trips into Seoul, just to search for her, even though the endeavor is literally like searching for a needle in a haystack.

It’s very endearing that just the thought that he’s looking at the same moon as Kang Hee, makes him smile, even though he hasn’t heard from her in years. 🥲

The way he just grabs onto Kang Hee, so tearfully, when she shows up at Grandpa’s funeral wake, is so visceral; I feel like every cell in his body has been waiting for the moment when he’d be able to see Kang Hee again. 🥲

E7-8. It has admittedly been frustrating to see Yeon Su be so accommodating and agreeable, when Su Ji’s been basically throwing tantrums and making unreasonable demands of him, but at the end of episode 8, we finally find out why.

It’s a heavy burden of guilt that he carries, that he’d liked Kang Hee’s mom more than his own mom, and had lied, alongside Dad, in order to enable all that time spent with Kang Hee’s mom.

That explains so much, in terms of why Yeon Su bends over backwards with Su Ji, and turns the other cheek, when she gets all unreasonable, to the point of letting Kang Hee go to Seoul alone, while he stayed behind in Hana-eup, which ended up changing their entire relationship.

I’m glad that Yeon Su finally comes to the conclusion that he’s now finished paying off this debt to Su Ji, and tells her that he’s decided to become independent of her.

[END SPOILER]

Kang Hee and Yeon Su

To be perfectly honest with you guys, this loveline did not truly capture my heart, even though Show spends quite a bit of time and focus on it.

I feel that we mainly spend a great deal of time in a state of push-pull between Kang Hee and Yeon Su, and the main question isn’t really, “Do they like each other?,” but more of, “What are the contextual forces keeping them apart, and will these be surmountable, for this would-be couple?”

Given that these factors are the very same ones driving Kang Hee’s complicated relationship with her past, this had the effect of positioning this loveline as secondary to Kang Hee’s journey of healing, in my head – if that makes sense?

This also means that my interest and invest in this loveline, compared to Kang Hee’s personal journey, was also secondary.

That said, you wouldn’t really know that, from the copious number of words that I’ve written, in my efforts to process the state of this OTP’s relationship, so here’s a breakdown of my thoughts around this couple’s journey back to each other.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E1-2. Through all the various ups and downs, I get the sense that Yeon Su had been Kang Hee’s single source of warmth, acceptance and love, and that in his love, she’d been able to draw enough strength to keep going, until adulthood.

At the same time, I believe that Kang Hee recognized that she couldn’t just depend on Yeon Su forever, to be that source of acceptance and love; I do think that she’d believed that she would be more accepted in Seoul.

After all, Seoul, as a big city, is a lot more diverse and cosmopolitan than the small town where she’d grown up, yes?

My take is that Kang Hee knew that she couldn’t keep living in this small town, with Yeon Su as her only source of acceptance, and she believed that she would find a more accepting environment in Seoul, and that’s why she was adamant about going.

At the same time, I feel that Kang Hee knew that Seoul wasn’t for Yeon Su, and therefore, even though Yeon Su was really important to her, she felt that she couldn’t take him up on his offer to go to Seoul with her.

In that sense, I feel that she was doing what she believed was the right thing, for each of them.

As for why she’d asked Yeon Su to sleep with her, before saying goodbye to him for what she’d believed was forever, I think it was as much for Yeon Su as it was for herself.

We hear her tell Yeon Su that the first time is the purest, and she wanted to be his first. I would venture to say that she felt the same way for herself; that she’d wanted Yeon Su to be her first as well.

To my eyes, she’d felt like this was the best she could do for the both of them, given that she felt compelled to leave, and compelled to let him continue living in their hometown; to have a moment to love unreservedly, because to have loved and lost, is better to have never loved at all – is how my brain is processing it.

Kang Hee acts nonchalant about it, but I do think that it means more to her than she’s letting on, and that’s why she does look sad, as she leaves Yeon Su behind, as the bus rolls away.

Through it all, Yeon Su remains the home in her heart, just like she’d drawn on that grape soda can, and I do believe that that’s why she keeps imagining Yeon Su waiting for her at the crosswalk, while going about her life in Seoul.

It’s not presented in so many words, but it’s clear that she puts everything into perspective through the lens of “What would Yeon Su say, or think?”

She doesn’t seek him out the way he searches for her, but it’s clear that she’s never forgotten him, nor stopped loving him, in all the years that she spends away from him, in Seoul.

E3-4. Going back to that moment when Seok Gyeong enters the hotel room with Kang Hee, and asks Yeon Su to transfer his ownership of Kang Hee to him, I’m glad that Kang Hee doesn’t lean into the misunderstanding, which is what I’d feared.

I really appreciate that it’s so clear to see, in Kang Hee’s expression, that she’s highly uncomfortable with this, and doesn’t want Yeon Su to get the wrong idea about her and Seok Gyeong.

In fact, she’s so upset that this even happened in the first place, that she calls Chun Pil to cut him off.

I think that says a lot about how important Yeon Su is, to Kang Hee.

I’d even go so far as to say that, these episodes – and perhaps for a good chunk of our show, going forward – there’s always this tension between what Kang Hee truly feels for Yeon Su, and what she allows herself to do about it, if at all.

Sometimes, we see her true feelings peek through, like in this moment, when the first thing she does, when Yeon Su opens the hotel room door, is to fall into his arms.

The thing that gets me about this scene, is that Kang Hee knows, from the core of her being, that she has a safe space in Yeon Su’s arms; she doesn’t even have to think about it, even though Yeon Su’s just seen her with Seok Gyeong.

I love that unspoken assurance, and find it quite touching. 🥲

I actually really enjoyed watching Kang Hee speak so freely and comfortably with Yeon Su, in that hotel room.

Like, ahhh, this is what it’s like between them, when they aren’t burdened by context.

The words flow freely, and there is honesty, and jokes and chuckles.

And I am quite taken with how matter-of-factly and easily the words come from Yeon Su; that he’d promised to wait for her, for life. 🥲

I feel like Kang Hee’s almost – really almost – carried away by this little bubble of happiness, that she’s just about ready to accept that (very perfect) necklace from Yeon Su – and that’s when her memories catch up with her.

Suddenly, the weight of their context comes crashing down on her, and it’s all about all the rejection, disdain and disgust that she’s experienced from everyone in their small town – including Yeon Su’s family.

I think that at the heart of this, this is why Kang Hee can’t see a future with Yeon Su; he might accept and love her, but no one else in his family will.

I do appreciate, though, that Kang Hee doesn’t lead Yeon Su on, at any point that we’ve seen.

These episodes, we see, over and over again, how Kang Hee pushes Yeon Su away, and even tells him that it’s over between them, and that they should live well – separately.

It hurts Yeon Su, but I rationalize that at least she’s being honest in terms of whether or not she sees a future for them.

As we see her say later to that stray cat, she doesn’t feel that she can take responsibility for her feelings – and that’s why she’s walking away.

In that sense, I kind of feel like with Kang Hee, it’s almost kind of like, “I love you, but I need to save and protect myself first,” which I want to honor as a valid choice.

And, it does also help, that we see indications leaking out quite regularly, that this is also hurting Kang Hee. Her heart doesn’t want this, even though her mind has decided that this is the most practical solution.

As for why Yeon Su would say to her, that if she leaves now, he’ll stop waiting for her, I tend to think that he’s just that desperate to get Kang Hee to stay. 🥲

E3-4. I’ve seen some folks rolling their eyes at our story development, where Kang Hee thinks that Yeon Su’s dating Nan Woo, and Yeon Su thinks that Kang Hee’s dating Seok Gyeong. and saying that all it would take to solve the issue between Yeon Su and Kang Hee, is for them to sit down and have an honest conversation.

..And that’s just not what I see, with the situation.

Yes, an honest conversation would clear up the issue of who is or is not dating whom, but an honest conversation would not solve the issue of context, where Kang Hee feels disdained and scorned by Yeon Su’s family.

To me, that is the core issue, and this whole who’s-dating-whom thing is just a temporary misunderstanding that actually is kind of useful, in terms of nudging out some true feelings into the pot.

For the time being, though, I did feel suitably engaged, as Yeon Su and Kang Hee each make their efforts to check out the person whom they believe the other person is dating.

I’m honestly a little surprised that Kang Hee would go so far as to visit the vet clinic while Yeon Su’s not there, just so that she can check out who this pretty hoobae is, that Yeon Su’s supposedly dating.

Unlike Yeon Su, who tails Seok Gyeong in order to figure out whether Seok Gyeong’s a good person, or someone with a gambling habit who would be bad for Kang Hee, Kang Hee’s approach feels a lot less calculated.

To my eyes, it feels like she just upped and went, when she saw the opportunity present itself; she doesn’t even really seem to have a plan, or a thought-out outcome.

Afterwards, I found it ruefully amusing, that Kang Hee would then go to a gukbap restaurant and get drunk, while drowning her sorrows at how cute, accomplished and well-rounded Nan Woo is. 🤭

E3-4. I do like the scene where Kang Hee drunkenly mumbles to Yeon Su not to leave, and then says that he hasn’t kept a single promise that he’s made her.

I feel like some folks would take issue with Kang Hee saying this, since she’s told Yeon Su that their first love is over, but I do think that we should take into account the fact that Kang Hee is drunk.

This is, to me, simply a glimpse at what Kang Hee truly feels and wants, when it comes to Yeon Su.

When she’s sober, she wouldn’t say the same thing to Yeon Su, because she’s so adamant about keeping things clean and distant, and finishing up her business so that she can leave again.

But it’s moments like these, when she’s not sober, that we get to hear what her heart truly wants, and her heart clearly wishes that Yeon Su would still be all hers.

And of course he still is; she just doesn’t know it yet. 🥲

E5-6. We find out that Grandpa had shown his disapproval for Kang Hee as a potential granddaughter-in-law, in what could be seen as the most passive-aggressive way ever.

I mean, he comes across as all benign and friendly, but with the way he gives those rings to Kang Hee and tells her that his future granddaughter-in-law should have grown up well loved by both parents, he’s basically showing her, in one fell swoop, that she would never qualify.

That is a deep rejection indeed, because not only is there a deep bond between Yeon Su and Kang Hee that she relies on, there’s also a bond between her and Grandpa, and that bond twists into a whole new, negative sort of thing, in Kang Hee’s heart, with this one single move.

Grandpa is really quite cruel, in that, he doesn’t just let Kang Hee know that she would never qualify, he even makes it her responsibility to give Yeon Su the rings, when he meets the right girl.

Grandpa could have just given those rings to Yeon Su directly, but this was Grandpa’s way of ensuring that those rings would not be given to Kang Hee, and that’s honestly really quite cruel.

I can see now, why Kang Hee held so much hurt and resentment in her heart towards Grandpa, which we saw when she’d gone to his funeral. 💔

It’s all very complicated indeed, and it’s messy, and I can see why Kang Hee might go back and forth on what to do and how to act around Yeon Su.

Sometimes, her resolve is stronger, and she pushes him away harder. And sometimes, her resolve starts melting, particularly when she is touched by his actions.

Which, I think, is why Kang Hee starts running to find Yeon Su at the end of episode 5; she’s just that overwhelmed at the realization that he’s kept her teddy bear all these years, and taken care of her cat and everything.

When she finds him, the way she asks, all breathless and expectant, if he likes her, it’s clear to see that she hopes that the answer is yes.

..But that’s not the answer that Yeon Su gives.

We see in episode 6, that Yeon Su’s hit so hard by what Kang Hee had said – about hating that he knows about her past; that seeing him actually hurts her – that he’s decided that the best thing he can do for her, is to forget her.

Oof. That’s gotta hurt, on both sides. 💔

I can totally see why Yeon Su would think that this was the only thing he could do, to make things better, for Kang Hee, though. 🥹

I’m glad, though, that when Yeon Su hears about the promise that Grandpa had asked of Kang Hee, he runs after her, catches her in that backhug, and then apologizes, while acknowledging all the pain that she must have been in.

It feels like a precious moment of pure, unguarded truth, and it also feels really important, that Kang Hee hears an acknowledgment of all the pain that she’s been bottling up, all these years.

Afterwards, it feels like such a strong statement, when Yeon Su tosses the rings into the lake; it’s like he’s saying that if Grandpa wouldn’t approve of him giving the rings to Kang Hee, then the rings are worth nothing to him. 🥲

But of course, things are still complicated, so just because Yeon Su tells Kang Hee that he’s not dating Nan Woo, and just because Kang Hee indicates that she just envies Seok Gyeong sometimes, it doesn’t mean that the path is clear for our would-be OTP.

The biggest and most obvious thing of all, of course, is the fact that Kang Hee can’t forgive Yeon Su’s mom, for taking Chun Pil away from their family, when they’d needed him most.

That’s why, when Yeon Su asks, “What about me?,” Kang Hee’s response is, “Can you abandon your mom?”

Of course our sweet Yeon Su isn’t the kind of person who’d abandon his mother, so they’re still stuck, at the end of the day.

As we close out episode 6, Kang Hee’s freshly inspired by Esther, to have a close friendship with Yeon Su, even if they can’t be together.

Which is how we have that scene of them awkwardly and aggressively trying to act like friends, trying to share that ice cream and that single spoon.

I’m glad that Yeon Su steps up, though, and leans in to kiss Kang Hee, before saying, in his signature gentle manner, “Can you be friends with me? I don’t want to.”

Melt. Meltmeltmelt.

I am quite seduced by Yeon Su’s gentleness as he approaches Kang Hee like this, and it’s really quite heady, as they give in to their feelings and allow themselves to drown in kisses.

This feels like a lovely moment of honesty and vulnerability, and while I very much support this, I also can’t help but wonder what comes next, for our OTP – because, things are just as complicated now, as they were before.

E7-8. I did think that them taking turns to tuck each other into bed, was quite sweet.

I also thought that it was quite meaningful, that Yeon Su asked to see the gosiwon room in which Kang Hee had lived, when she’d first moved to Seoul.

He might not have been there with her, but learning the details around how she’d lived, would definitely help him to feel more connected to her, and understand her better, I’m sure.

E7-8. It’s pretty great how Yeon Su heads straight to Kang Hee, then grabs her hand and runs with her, through the streets, and through that dark alley, and then out again, and then kisses her, until they’re both out of breath – and then pants, “Let’s date.”

Of course, we don’t know Kang Hee’s answer just yet, and it’s very probable that there are further obstacles ahead of our OTP, but for now, it all feels very hopeful, particularly with the way that run is portrayed.

It feels like a reflection of their entire lives together, where they’d been able to run and play in the sun, but had then gone through a really dark time.

Now that they’re out in the light again, I’m hoping that that also means that Kang Hee and Yeon Su will finally be able to put down all the emotional baggage they’ve been carrying, all these years, and be healed of all their emotional wounds. 🥲

[END SPOILER]

Choi Min Soo as Chun Pil

Choi Min Soo’s always a treat to have onscreen, as far as I’m concerned (did I mention that he was completely arresting as Sky Lord, in Warrior Baek Dong Soo? 🤩), so I was primed to enjoy Chun Pil as a character. 😁

In Choi Min Soo’s hands, I found Chun Pil to be an effortlessly complex character.

[BROAD SPOILERS]

He’s jovial and laidback, but we progressively learn, from the nuances of his facial expressions, that underneath that annoyingly carefree facade, there’s a lot more going on.

[END SPOILERS]

I ended up really liking Chun Pil, and I believe it’s very much thanks to the way Choi Min Soo brought him to life. 🥲

Kang Hee and Chun Pil

Right from the get-go, Show makes it clear that Kang Hee is mostly estranged from her father, Chun Pil, and barely sees or speaks to him, as a general rule.

And so, of course, it wasn’t long before I decided that one of the relationships that I most wanted to see healed, over the course of our story, was the one that Kang Hee shared with Chun Pil. 🥲

Show doesn’t really get into this until much later in our story, so this spoiler section only covers some initial thoughts.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E3-4. These episodes, I’m quite struck by the fact that Chun Pil actually tells his friend that he’s envious that his friend’s son wants to come back and live in their rural hometown, and wistful that he only gets to see his own daughter once a year.

Wait, what? – right?

That puts a whole different spin on things; it means that it’s Kang Hee who doesn’t want to be around him, and not the other way around.

In fact, these episodes, I’m noticing that Chun Pil seems to always be walking on eggshells, around Kang Hee.

I am very interested to know the specific reasons behind this, because, as we keep seeing in the flashbacks, young Kang Hee had seemed perfectly content to be Chun Pil’s daughter. 🥲

And yet, we see that there’s a part of Kang Hee that still very much cares about Chun Pil, and the memories that they’d shared, like the way she remembers in such detail, the dream motel that he’d wanted to build, back in the day. 🥲

E5-6. These episodes, we finally get the backstory on why Kang Hee carries so much resentment towards Chun Pil; he’d been away in Seoul, helping Yeon Su’s mom, and therefore hadn’t been there to help his wife, when she’d suffered a miscarriage.

Oof. That’s a tough one indeed.

Because, how could he have known that going to Seoul to help someone who’d been scammed, would coincide with a time when his pregnant wife needed him?

That said, I’m guessing that there’s likely a pattern of behavior here, that’s enraging Kang Hee.

I get that sense that Chun Pil likely had the habit of always going off to help others, while leaving his own family to fend for themselves, and it seems like he has a particular soft spot for Yeon Su’s mom, which we don’t have any context for, currently.

If Chun Pil had the habit of going out of his way to help others while largely not noticing if his own family needed him, I can see why Kang Hee would resent him so much, and for so long.

[END SPOILER]

Seok Gyeong and Esther

I just wanted to give Seok Gyeong and Esther (Kim Tae Hyeong and Seo Ye Hwa) a shout-out, because I really enjoyed their connection.

[MINOR SPOILER]

It took me a hot minute to clue in to the fact that they’d used to be engaged, but aren’t anymore, and yet, remain the best of friends.

I really liked the idea, that whether they were engaged or not, they continued to care about and love each other.

[END SPOILER]

It gave me the sense that they are soulmates, and that they could count on each other, for the rest of their lives. Quite beautiful, yes? 🥲

The gang of friends

This gang of friends really crept up on me, I have to say.

In the beginning, these friends had seemed almost too peripheral to our main story, to even count as real characters, but I found myself growing more aware of them, and more fond of them, over the course of my watch.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E3-4. At the top of episode 3, we get to see Yeon Su’s motivation for having a glow-up in the first place, and, awwww, my heart goes out to him, that he’d decided to lose weight, so as not to lose out to all the cool Seoul guys around Kang Hee.

I find it really wholesome that his friends Seong Eon and Han Woo stick with him through the whole thing.

It’s so endearing to me, that they train with him for such an extended period of time, just because he’s determined to lose weight.

And in the present, I continue to really love the matter-of-fact, all-accepting vibe of the friendship among them. It’s so unconditional, simple and unadulterated. I really love it.

I also freaking love that they all end up living at Motel California, with neighboring rooms and everything. I find it very endearing. 🥰

[END SPOILER]

Ji Soo Won as Su Ji

I just to give a shout-out to Ji Soo Won, because she was so darn effective, at making Su Ji insufferable. That’s some skill! 😅

Here are just a few instances where Su Ji’s behavior really frustrated me.

[SPOILER ALERT]

E7-8. I have to say that Su Ji’s really landing as a very emotionally stunted, naive, spiteful sort of person, and I think that one of the reasons everyone seems to be indulging her so much, is because they pity her for the fact that her husband had been “stolen” by Kang Hee’s mother – never mind that Husband had been just as guilty of adultery.

I personally find her insufferable, for her whole pity party approach to life, and how she feels like the whole world owes her, or something.

I found it really satisfying to see Chun Pil finally yell at her, all the indulgent niceties gone; laying it all bare, and telling her that she doesn’t care about Yeon Su as much as she claims to, and to just stop with her whining and meddling.

YESS. It just feels so satisfying to have someone tell Su Ji off, no holds barred.

E7-8. I am suitably appalled at the way Su Ji makes a show out of being hospitalized, so that she can ask Yeon Su to move out of Motel California – but then, when he agrees and says he’ll move back home, she tells him to find some other place, because she needs her privacy.

Excuuuse me??

This is actually Yeon Su’s home where she’s staying, right, since he’d moved out so that she could move in there, with her then-husband? And that’s how he’d ended up moving to the motel?

And now, she’s demanding that he move out of the motel, but won’t let him move back to the place which had been his home, before he’d let her live there??

As for the privacy, it seems that Su Ji’s a serial dater, what with having lots of boyfriends, and already having someone whom she thinks she might want to marry, so I’m thinking that this “privacy” is all for canoodling with her boyfriends, which just makes everything even more bizarre and perplexing.

Sigh.

[END SPOILER]

SPOTLIGHT ON THE PENULTIMATE EPISODES [SPOILERS]

E9-10. To be honest, one of the first thoughts I had, after watching these episodes, was, “This show can be summed up as ‘I just wanna love, but my life is too makjang.. 😭’” 🤭

We get some very significant reveals these episodes, particularly in episode 10, and while I do have more specific thoughts which I’ll talk about later, my main concern at the moment, is that we are still getting very significant reveals, and we are very very close to our story’s finish line.

I’d honestly thought that Show had already given us enough material to work through, in this last stretch, without one-upping itself, and leaning over backwards to include amnesia (of which we weren’t even aware, up to this point!), and potential manslaughter.

Of course, it’s entirely possible that Show might choose to give us an open ending, which would theoretically free it from the responsibility of working through everything and tying everything up somewhat neatly, but.. I would prefer a more worked-through ending versus an open one, so I’m still concerned. 😅

Oh, and one more thing; I did feel like the PPL was a little excessive, these episodes.

I know the bills need to be paid, so I’m just rolling with it, but I just had to mention that I felt the PPL moments were quite frequent, and not my favorite.

Backing up to the top of episode 9, it was quite nice indeed, to see Yeon Su and Kang Hee bask in happy togetherness for a while, after all the back-and-forth push-pull of their combined pining and angsting.

While I imagine that some people might take issue with the way Kang Hee instructs Yeon Su not to listen to her if she tells her that she wants to break up, etc, I do think it’s a good show of self-awareness.

Kang Hee knows that she has a tendency to get emotional, and a tendency to say such things when she’s emotional, and she’s taking precautions now – by telling Yeon Su not to take her words seriously, if and when she does say them.

Of course it would be even better if Kang Hee managed to not say those things, but failing that, this seems like a pretty healthy alternative.

For a while, it felt like they could potentially break free from the chains that had held them back all this time, just because they chose not to bound anymore, and that felt vicariously liberating.

Even Seok Gyeong’s big showy proposal didn’t put a dent in our OTP’s happy bubble, and I was glad for that show of confidence and security.

It also feels like a good thing, that Seok Gyeong and Yeon Su meet up to talk, and lay their cards out on the table; that feels healthy too.

I’m not surprised that Su Ji objects to Yeon Su dating Kang Hee; she’s mostly her whiney, petulant, self-centered self, these episodes, but I did gasp, when she cursed Kang Hee, telling Kang Hee that she’d be punished one day, just like her mother.

GASP. HOW AWFUL. 😱

Su Ji reached a new low these episodes, as far as I’m concerned.

And therefore, I’m kind of waiting with bated breath for her to get scammed again, because that new dude she’s eyeing, is totally going to be a scammer, for sure, yes?

I was surprised, though, when Chun Pil objects to the relationship, at the end of episode 9.

He’s pleasant to Yeon Su, but basically communicates the idea, that he’s not in favor of Yeon Su dating Kang Hee.

I’m glad though, that he clarifies his stance in episode 10, and tells Yeon Su that he’d spoken as Yeon Su’s dad, because he doesn’t want Yeon Su to suffer, but as Kang Hee’s dad, he wants to ask Yeon Su to take good care of her.

Aw. I can see why Chun Pil would feel conflicted about the whole thing, since it is true that Yeon Su is choosing the difficult path. 🥲

Speaking of Chun Pil, we get some backstory around what had been going on with him and Mom, and it’s heart-pinching to see that he’d been trying so hard, to get air tickets for them to go to California, because that had been Mom’s dream.

How awful to see that the day Mom and Kang Hee had waited for him to come home with the tickets, he’d found out that he’d been scammed, and had then landed in jail for what looks to be attempted assault. 💔

What a heavy burden of guilt Chun Pil must have, over this. 😔

We still don’t know what illness he has, but my drama gut was right; he is sick, and it looks to be bad, if he’s already thinking of his funeral photo. 💔

I wish he would tell Kang Hee the truth about his health, because, from what Kang Hee says to him, to live a long and healthy life until she’s ready to give and receive forgiveness, it’s clear that she does want to reconcile with him at some point; she’s just not ready right now.

Gulp. I just hope that this father and daughter pair do get to reconcile before we get to our finish line.

On the upside, Kang Hee does address Chun Pil as “Appa” at least once, these episodes, and I took that as a glimmer of hope. 🥲

These episodes, I actually found myself growing more interested in our secondary characters.

First, there’s that moment when Esther tells Seok Gyeong what she’d really meant, when she’d told him she didn’t want an arranged marriage.

At the time, Seok Gyeong had assumed that this meant Esther didn’t want to marry him, when in reality, what Esther had really wanted, was for him to show his sincerity in wanting to marry her, thereby making it a marriage that they both wanted, instead of a marriage that their parents wanted.

That beat when the truth hits Seok Gyeong, felt like such a mic drop moment; it feels like Seok Gyeong’s entire world is turns on its head, and thereafter, I can just feel this weighing on him and haunting him.

I can’t even imagine what that must feel like, for him, because he clearly does love Esther, and therefore, he must be kicking himself for not having realized what she’d meant, and therefore letting her get away – and now she’s gone and married someone else, and is even expecting that someone else’s baby.

Not that I would wish bad things on Esther, certainly, but now that we know that Victor’s a cheating scumbag, maybe it’s time she leave him, and give Seok Gyeong another chance?

I’m kind of hoping for that; I feel like these two really are soul mates, and I hope they get another chance to make their love work. 🥲

As for Ah Reum, I really feel for her, because she’s in a situation where she feels so stuck.

It’s awful that her father is abusive at home towards her mother, and she feels like she has to abide by what makes her mother happy, because her mother’s endured literal decades of beatings, just so that Ah Reum wouldn’t have divorced parents (due to the social stigma in Korea) when she gets married.

I mean, it’s true that Ah Reum could just choose to be independent and not listen to her parents, but I do think that Ah Reum’s just not that kind of person, to disregard her mother’s suffering, which has been endured specifically for Ah Reum’s sake.

How heartbreaking though, to see the way Mom reacts with such clear disapproval and disdain, when Ah Reum attempts to introduce her to Seung Eon, whom she really likes.

..Which brings me to Seung Eon’s backstory, which we’re only getting now; that he’d been abandoned at the motel by his mother, and that’s why he’s been living at the motel all these years, in hopes that Mom would come back for him, like she’d said she would.

Oof. That’s tough enough on its own, without him having to hear the harsh words blurted out by Ah Reum’s mom. 💔

It is a consolation, though, that Seung Eon had Chun Pil and Kang Hee, who welcomed him into their family, and considered him one of their own. 🥲

I really hope that Show will work out a happy ending for Seung Eon and Ah Reum, because they like each other so much.

And, I also hope we get a happy ending for Han Woo and Nan Woo; I’d never thought of them as a potential pair before, but now I think they’d be very cute together.

Clearly, Han Woo had fancied Nan Woo for a fair while, but hadn’t hoped for anything, since everyone had believed that Nan Woo and Yeon Su were dating.

Heh. No wonder Han Woo gets so upset at Yeon Su when he realizes that Yeon Su and Nan Woo had never dated; if Yeon Su had just told him sooner, he could have allowed his hopes to grow sooner too, yes?

And, I do think that Nan Woo likes him as well, given the way she gets antsy enough at the idea of him maybe going back to Seoul with his ex-girlfriend, that she shows up at the bus station to provide him with a made-up excuse, so that he’d have a reason to stay in Hana-eup. Aw. Cute.

Now, going back to Kang Hee’s amnesia, it really did take me by surprise, that we would get an amnesia reveal this late in our story.

I think overall, I just wish Show would have given all the pieces of context earlier, so that we’d have more time to work through them.

But yes, at the top of episode 10, Kang Hee talks about remembering that she’d hidden in Chun Pil’s car on the day of the accident, and then later, at the end of the episode, she remembers stuffing her plushie into the exhaust pipe of the car in which her mom and Yeon Su’s dad had run away.

Which is why she believes that she’d caused the accident, and thus, their deaths.

I don’t know much about cars, so I did some googling, and based on what I’ve read, I don’t think that it’s possible that Kang Hee caused the accident.

It’s more likely that the car exhaust would have spat out the plushie, but.. let’s see what answer Show ends up providing.

In the meantime, I do appreciate the rawness of emotion, as Kang Hee grapples with this “realization” and decides that it’s best for her to break up with Yeon Su.

Her tears and pain feel so real and palpable; I feel like I can taste her sorrow and her defeat, even as she tells Yeon Su that she loves him.

As we go into the finale, I can only hope that Yeon Su takes her earlier words to heart; to never let go and to never walk away, even when she tells him to. 🥲

THOUGHTS ON THE ENDING [SPOILERS]

E11-12. I am honestly quite thrilled with these finale episodes, my friends.

I’d actually been a little wary, coming into these episodes, because I’d been rather befuddled with the late-game narrative decisions that we’d seen in our penultimate episodes, and I wasn’t sure if Show would be able to stick the landing.

But, stick the landing it did, and not only that, it even managed to make me feel quite fuzzy and content about it all 🥰, and that’s quite an achievement I think, given where I’d been, coming into the ending.

I’ll even say that this ending has contributed a good chunk towards my decision in terms of Show’s final grade – in case you were curious. 😁

I think it only really clicked in my head while I was watching these episodes, that Show is about love, but it isn’t really about romantic love; it’s about all the other types of love, like familial love, and self-love.

Those are the two that really stand out to me, as Show works its way through our various relationships, in these episodes.

The other thing that really clicked into focus for me, in this finale, is the fact that Kang Hee represents all of us; she’s had more than a few messed up moments in her life, and is carrying around a lot of wounds, scars and guilt, and is just.. walking around, carrying them all, and not actually knowing what to do about it.

There is a lot of guilt and pain at play here, and I feel like that’s twisted and warped a lot of things for Kang Hee, and yes, from an observer’s point of view, maybe that doesn’t look like it’s as big of a deal as Kang Hee makes it out to be, but when you’re in her shoes, it is big.

The wounds are big; the effect that it all has on the way you look at the world is big; the agony and despair is big; the fear is big. It is big, when you are Kang Hee, and I felt that Kang Hee’s pain – all raw and pulsating and ugly – felt believable and true.

And so, I didn’t roll my eyes when Kang Hee tells Yeon Su goodbye, and tries to break up with him, because her agony felt real, and I believed that she believed that this was the only thing she could do.

I can also believe that Yeon Su would let Kang Hee have her way, because he can see that in her current emotional state, there’s just no reasoning with her.

Plus, there’s the thing where Chun Pil’s condition worsens, and Yeon Su naturally pours all of his time and focus on being with Chun Pil, through the various medical appointments.

I do appreciate though, that when Yeon Su hears from Seok Gyeong that Kang Hee plans to go abroad to study, he moves to stop her, not because he can’t bear to let her go, but because he knows that even if she goes, nothing will change for her, unless she confronts the truth about the accident – which is exactly what he takes her to do, in order to set her free.

It sounds like a really simple thing, but it feels realistic in the sense that in life, we do sometimes avoid peeking at the truth, because we’re too full of fear of what we’ll find out when we do, and so, we would rather live with the awful uncertainty of not knowing the truth, because at least this way, there’s a chance that the truth isn’t what we fear.

Yes, it’s complicated and makes no sense to the logical mind, but when fear is involved, it’s hard to act rationally – at least, that’s my own experience, and so I can relate to Kang Hee just assuming her guilt, without going to confront the truth.

I’m glad that Yeon Su is firm in facing the truth with her, and I’m not at all surprised that the truth that they find, is that it was never Kang Hee’s fault.

And then, I was pleasantly surprised when Yeon Su and Kang Hee go to see Su Ji, and Su Ji’s suitor, whom I’d thought was utterly dubious, turns out to be pretty awesome at managing Su Ji’s temper tantrums, while still embracing her vain ways.

When Su Ji talks about being upset at Kang Hee for stuffing her teddy bear into her car’s exhaust pipe, thus curtailing her plans to take her own life in style, it’s Suitor Dude who quickly thanks Kang Hee for having saved Su Ji’s life.

I’m honestly glad to be proven wrong about Suitor Dude; looks like he’s just what Su Ji needs in her life. 😁

Finally, Kang Hee is able to embrace herself again, and that scene of her embracing young Kang Hee, and telling her younger self that she loves and accepts her, is so poignantly touching.

It’s what I’ve wanted for Kang Hee from the very beginning; that she would be finally be able to love herself. 🥲

I do love that one of the first things Kang Hee does, after this, is to go straight to Chun Pil, and tell him that he should adopt Seong Eon.

I freaking love that Chun Pil goes ahead and does just that.

That beat, where Chun Pil tells Seong Eon, “Come have jjajangmyeon with Dad,” just really hit me in the feels. 🥰🥲

Chun Pil’s illness and everyone’s processing of it, is a whole thing in this finale, and I find myself actually appreciating it.

Not that I would ever wish Chun Pil to be sick, but the way it was handled made sense to me, and felt in line with our various characters’ personalities, and I appreciated that.

I found it heartbreaking, actually, to see the way Chun Pil was trying to reconcile himself to the idea that his time is almost up, and that death was the next natural thing.

I also found it heartbreaking that he would decide not to tell Kang Hee about it, but based on the mostly estranged relationship they’ve had for many years, and the fact that Kang Hee had kept him at a distance for so long, I can understand why he might have thought that it would have been best not to bother her.

It kind of made character sense to me that Chun Pil would think about just disappearing, while traveling the world; that’s the kind of “romantic-cool” notion that I would believe would come out of his head.

I’m really grateful that Yeon Su persuades him to continue with treatment, and I really loved that scene where they’re drinking together and tipsily talking, and Yeon Su tells Chun Pil that he’s Chun Pil’s son and will take care of him.

The sight of them snuggling tipsily together, is really so precious, honestly. 🥲

I then found it perplexing that Chun Pil would decide to sell the motel, and tell everyone to find new homes and move out.

However, when we find out that it’s because he doesn’t want to burden Kang Hee with the motel and all of its memories after his death, it all makes sense to me.

Kang Hee’s shown a distaste for motels for a very long time, so it’s quite natural that Chun Pil would think that getting everything cleaned up and sorted out now, instead of leaving it to Kang Hee to deal with after his death, is the better thing to do.

I’m glad that Kang Hee finds out despite Chun Pil’s efforts to keep it from her, and I have to say, I found Kang Hee’s reactions of disbelief, followed by grief, very believable.

And I also found it believable, that she would brighten up after speaking with CEO Hwang, because CEO Hwang tells her that Chun Pil will be able to get better, just like he’d done before.

It also feels apt, that Kang Hee would decide that she wants to turn the motel into a nursing home, and persuades Chun Pil to consider her idea – which is as good as getting him to agree, since he’s always been soft for his baby girl, yes? 🥲

It’s a little pat that our secondary lovelines kick into gear just as we’re getting to the finish line, but I have no real complaints, since I think that our secondary couples suit each other very well.

I love that Ah Reum makes the decision to live for herself instead of for her parents, and tells Seung Eon to study for the GED as his part.

That scene where he gives her that tube of hand cream, and she asks him to put it on for her, is sweet and understated, and I liked that very well.

I also thought that the scene of Han Woo and Nan Woo at the vet’s office, where he awkwardly asks her if it’s ok that he confess to her, was cute. 🥰

As for Seok Gyeong and Esther, I would have liked for Seok Gyeong to have stepped forward to tell Esther that he’d like to be the father of her baby, but this ambiguous state of being, where they continue to be close to each other, feels more in keeping with Show’s tone.

Plus, I can satisfy myself by imagining that some time down the road, these two will eventually embrace the fact that they belong together.

It does feel a little overly pat, that as we get to the finish line, Kang Hee would make peace with everyone in the village, from the elders who’d used to gossip about her, to the classmates who’d used to fight with her.

But, I’m not going to argue against the warm fuzzies that Show is working to give me, with Kang Hee even telling Chun Pil – Dad, now – that she loves him 🥲, and I like the idea of everyone laughing and being happy, as we prepare to leave them.

As Kang Hee and Yeon Su steal away to have some couple time in the snow, reminiscing about the past, I feel very content, that so much is finally right, in our drama world. 🥲

THE FINAL VERDICT:

Somewhat uneven, but ultimately heartfelt and quite meaningful.

FINAL GRADE: B+

TRAILER:

MV:

PATREON UPDATE!

The next drama I’m covering on Patreon, in place of  Motel California, is Undercover High School [Korea].

You can check out my episode 1-2 notes on Undercover High School on Patreon here.

Here’s an overview of what I’m covering on Patreon right now (Tier benefits are cumulative)!

Foundation Tier (US$1): Entertainment Drop (Sundays) + the first set notes of all shows covered on Patreon (that’s 2 episodes for kdramas and 4 episodes for cdramas)

Early Access (US$5): +Buried Hearts [Korea]

Early Access Plus (US$10): +Undercover High School [Korea]

VIP (US$15): +The First Frost [China]

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