Look, we all know the type. The one who’s just too perfect, too skilled, and who somehow always saves the day without breaking a sweat. If you’ve ever yelled at a screen, “Just die already!”, then this film is for you. That very specific fan-fiction cliché finally gets its comeuppance, or at least a good run for its money, in the upcoming cinematic event, “Killing Mary Sue”.
Sierra McCormick steps into the sensible, yet inexplicably plot-armored, shoes of Mary Sue Harper. Our Mary Sue’s origin story is, shall we say, unique. At the tender age of six, she helped her dad rob a bank. He got stabbed 12 times (yikes!), and she got… well, a new mom who promptly married Senator Bradley Wiener (Dermot Mulroney). Suddenly, our Mary Sue is living the high life, morphing into the kind of spoiled brat you just know is going to cause a scandal. Think 2007 Lindsay Lohan, but with more senator-stepdad drama and, presumably, less ankle monitoring.
Now, Senator Wiener is locked in a tight re-election battle against the formidable Anita Koch (Kim Whitley), and Mary Sue’s reputation is, to put it mildly, a bit of a sticky wicket. Her public image is less “pillar of the community” and more “why is this girl trending for all the wrong reasons again?” So, what’s a desperate politician to do when his own stepdaughter is sabotaging his career more effectively than any political opponent? Naturally, he hires assassins to off her. Because nothing says “sympathy votes” like a tragic, yet conveniently timed, family accident, right? It’s a classic political playbook move, if your playbook was written by a slightly unhinged Bond villain.
The only problem for Senator Wiener, and a boon for our entertainment, is that Mary Sue suddenly discovers she has plot armor so thick you could bounce bullets off it. And apparently, all those countless hours she spent meticulously mastering emotes and quickscoping in Fortnite weren’t just for show – she’s a bona fide combat pro. Who knew video games were such excellent training for dodging professional hitmen? Perhaps the military should reconsider their recruitment strategies.
For the uninitiated (and honestly, where have you been living, under a rock made of perfectly sculpted fanfic characters?), the term “Mary Sue” originated way back in 1973. It popped up in a Star Trek fan fiction aptly titled “A Trekkie’s Tale” by Paula Smith. The lead character, a Ms. Mary Sue, was so impossibly perfect, so ridiculously over-skilled, and so universally adored by every character within the story (often eclipsing the actual established heroes), that she became the definitive namesake for every eye-roll-inducing, flawless character since.
Attempts were made to coin a male equivalent, the “Gary Stu,” but let’s be honest, “Mary Sue” just stuck. It’s a universal term, regardless of gender, for any character who’s basically a walking, talking deus ex machina. Think Rey from Star Wars (though debates rage on, bless their hearts), Alice from the Resident Evil movies, Son Goku (because apparently, there’s always another power-up), or even Bella Swan (who managed to get two supernatural hunks fighting over her just by being… herself). You know the ones. You’ve probably rooted for the bad guys to win against them, just for a change of pace.
“Killing Mary Sue” is helmed by James Sunshine, a man who, until now, has been known more for producing reality TV than high-concept action-comedies. One can only assume his extensive experience with manufactured drama, questionable life choices, and people who are bafflingly resilient despite all odds, will translate seamlessly onto the big screen. Perhaps he’s secretly been documenting real-life Mary Sues for years. The film is set to release on June 13, 2025. Try to act surprised when it inevitably breaks every cinematic rule you thought you knew.